Sonny’s Story: Asking for Help
by Toriann Clarke, MA, LPC, NCC
Please note: This is not an actual child case. “Sonny” has been created as a characterization of a child client for the purpose of explaining family therapy dynamics. This is the second article of the series Sonny’s Story.
Sonny’s journey with counseling started well before his first session. Mom and Dad started to notice some behaviors in Sonny that were concerning for them and they both remarked to each other on several occasions. He was a fun jovial kid who regularly wanted to spend time with the family. They enjoyed him cuddling with them on the couch during their regular movie nights and going for walks on Saturdays. Something started to change and they weren’t quite sure what was happening. Movie nights with Mom and Sonny were common but they were met with reluctance and it would take him a little bit of time to get downstairs to the living room. As time progressed it started to feel like more and more of a chore to ask Sonny to do some of his preferred activities. Not long after, Sonny refused altogether stating that he had other things that he wanted to do in his room and would sit there with the door closed. Sonny always loved going for the family Saturday walk and enjoyed picking the route, but things started to change and Dad noticed. Sonny would take longer and longer to get ready for the walk. Sometimes when on the walk, he would want to shorten it when he typically would prefer to stay out as long as possible. Eventually, he started to make demands that he would go on the walk if and only if certain desires were met and when they were, he would still engage in resistance.
Mom and Dad had several conversations with each other, both citing the differences in Sonny’s behavior. Neither of them were quite sure what to do and felt at a loss. They were trying to get him to engage in the things that he already enjoyed and would often initiate. One day at work Mom began to talk with her coworker about the issues that they were experiencing with Sonny. She wasn’t quite sure what kind of feedback she was looking for, but noted that any support would’ve been helpful at that point. Her coworker began to share with her that it might be helpful for Sonny to speak with a clinician. Counseling felt extreme to Mom, after all Sonny was just having a few rough weeks. Mom shortly went home and spoke with Dad about what her coworker had told her. Dad noted that he didn’t think the issues had been going on that long and Mom initially agreed with him. They both said that they would spend a couple more weeks trying to assist Sonny and if they couldn’t figure it out by then, they would seek out a clinician.
A few more weeks passed and nothing improved. As a matter of fact, it actually had gotten worse. Sonny was refusing to leave his room outside of meals and the restroom, and getting him to school was an hour long challenge every morning. The small moments of banter that he had with his parents were lost, and while he was able to attend some of the family events, he looked miserable while he was there. Mom and Dad decided that they needed to do something. They decided to look for a clinician. They went on a few company websites and looked at some of the approaches that were being used. Some of these approaches felt like they would fit perfectly, and others did not. Both parents spent their lunch breaks reading clinician bios and trying to find a clinician that they thought he could really connect with. It wasn’t long before they were scheduling an appointment. But then they realized that they had made all of these big decisions and hadn’t spoken to Sonny yet.
As soon as the appointment was made, they decided to have the conversation at dinner. They both discussed with him the concerns that they had and the benefits that they thought counseling would have for him. Sonny appeared interested and luckily was willing to attend. He asked many questions and Sonny’s parents only had a handful of answers for him. They provided Sonny with the clinician’s bio and he appeared more at ease. Sonny admitted to his
parents that he was also looking for some help and was comfortable giving counseling a try. Sonny walked into the counseling office ready to start on his journey.
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