What Animals Teach Us About Grief

Author: Emma Sadler, LPC

Back in 2018, Tahlequah, an orca, captured international attention for carrying her dead calf 1,00 miles for 17 days as an act of intense mourning. Sadly, Tahlequah has recently been spotted in this new year carrying her second baby calf that did not survive. Her heartbreaking acts of mourning offer us a profound lesson: grief is not bound by species, and the strength she displays shows us a path to transform our own mourning. In the animal kingdom, we find echoes of our own grief—reminders that loss is not only something to endure, but also something that can teach us resilience, love, and the power to heal.

 

Orcas

When Tahlequah was spotted in 2018 carrying her passed calf, researchers were worried about the health of Tahlequah. She would carry the calf on her head and make deep dives to retrieve the calf before the current would carry the calf away. With the weight of the calf, Tahlequah was weighed down and her movements slowed, greatly impacting her ability to retrieve food. However, during her carrying of her calf, Tahlequah showed no decline in health, indicating that perhaps members of her pod were gathering food for her. At one point, the females of the pod were observed forming a tight circle around Tahlequah for two hours, offering some sort of emotional attunement in her pain.

Grief can often feel isolating, yet it is through the strength of community that we are able to cope and heal. Just as Tahlequah found solace and strength in the support of her pod, we, too, can learn that we don’t have to navigate our grief alone.

 

Bison

Bison are known for their remarkable ability to face North America’s harsh winter storms rather than retreating from it. While this may subject them to the extreme conditions, it also allows them to move through the storm more quickly.

Grief educator David Kessler explores this idea in his book Finding Meaning. Unlike the bison, however, we often avoid our grief and run away from the storm, which can intensify and prolong the pain. As Kessler reminds us, “we can’t heal what we don’t feel.” Although grief never fully disappears, by confronting it directly, we allow ourselves to truly feel our emotions, accept the reality of the loss, and ultimately transform that pain into a deeper sense of meaning.

 

Crows

Crows exhibit complex and remarkably unique funeral rituals. Animal behaviorist, Kaeli Swift, has researched crows and death, noting that when a dead crow is spotted, a living crow will emit an alarm-like cry, signaling for the recruitment of other crows. This shrill cacophony can continue for an extended period, gradually fading into silence Then, as a predator approaches, the crows will increase their mobbing behavior; cawing, and diving towards the predator to run it away from the dead crow. While Swift has noted in research that these funerals teach the crows mostly about environmental dangers, these intricate and communal displays of mourning offer us insight into the ways in which grief is expressed across species—and may even allow us to reflect on some of our own rituals.

While grief is a universal experience, how we react to it, understand it, and process it is directly related to our sociocultural influences. In western cultures, grief is often seen as an individual burden, while more Eastern and Indigenous cultures grieve in a collective process. Understanding how your own cultural background influences your experience of grief can illuminate both the strengths and limitations of your personal mourning process. It can also help you recognize the needs of your community, offering a more holistic approach to navigating loss.

 

Remember

Your grief is a deeply personal and unique journey, but you don’t have to face it alone. By seeking out community and support, allowing yourself to feel the full weight of your sorrow, and reflecting on how your cultural background shapes your experience of grief, you can build your capacity to hold and move through grief.

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