Masking in Autism: What It Is and Why It Matters

Author: Sarah Wittman

April is Autism Acceptance month which celebrates and honors the unique experiences and identities of individuals diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD).

Autism is a complex, lifelong developmental condition that can impact a person’s social skills, communication, relationships, and self-regulation. The Autism experience is unique for each individual and it is referred to as a “spectrum disorder” that affects people differently and in varying degrees. (Autism Society, 2025)

When speaking to my sister who was diagnosed with ASD at the age of 3, she explained her experience of being autistic as “living in a world where I am the weirdo in a group of weirdos.”

 

Acceptance, when it comes to ASD, means recognizing and valuing neurodiversity rather than trying to “fix” or change individuals with autism to fit into a neurotypical mold. It involves understanding that people with autism experience and interact with the world in unique ways which are just as valid as any other person. True acceptance goes beyond tolerance or awareness, it’s about creating inclusive environments where individuals with autism are respected, supported, and empowered to be themselves without shame or pressure to mask their traits.

Masking is when an individual with ASD is either consciously or unconsciously suppressing autistic traits in an attempt to appear more neurotypical to avoid negative reactions and gain social acceptance.

Here are some common masking behaviors:

1. Forced eye contact: Making or holding eye contact even when it feels uncomfortable or unnatural.
2. Mimicking social behaviors: Copying the speech patterns, gestures, or facial expressions of others to seem more socially “appropriate.”
3. Suppressing stimming: Hiding or replacing self-soothing behaviors like hand-flapping, rocking, or fidgeting with more subtle movements.
4. Rehearsing conversations: Practicing what to say in advance or mentally scripting responses during social interactions.
5. Hiding special interests: Avoiding talking about intense interests to prevent being seen as “obsessive” or “odd.”
6. Smiling or laughing at the right times: Forcing expressions or reactions to match expected emotional responses, even if they don’t feel genuine.
7. Overthinking body language: Constantly adjusting posture, tone, or gestures to appear more typical or socially accepted.
8. Avoiding questions or deflecting: Steering conversations away from topics that might reveal autistic traits or lead to misunderstanding.

Masking can be mentally and emotionally exhausting, and over time it may contribute to stress, burnout, anxiety, or identity confusion, especially if someone feels they must constantly perform to be accepted.

Here are some tips for all of us to utilize to help with creating safe and accepting environments for individuals with ASD so that they can show up as their genuine selves:

1. Validate Their Authentic Self
   Let them know that you like and accept them just as they are, even the parts of themselves they feel pressured to hide. A simple “you don’t need to pretend around me” or “I love how excited you get about [special interest]” goes a long way.
2. Make Space for Their Comfort
   Encourage them to set their own pace in social situations, communication styles, and sensory needs. Support their needs in these situations without making it a big deal.
3. Listen Without Judgment
   If they open up about masking or what they struggle with, just listen. Reflect back what you hear, and resist trying to “fix” it. Knowing someone is willing to listen and understand can mean a lot.
4. Celebrate Their Interests
   Take an interest in what they’re passionate about, even if it’s not your thing. When people can talk freely about their special interests, it reinforces the idea that their excitement and way of thinking are valid.
5. Don’t Pressure “Typical” Behavior
   Avoid encouraging eye contact, small talk, or other neurotypical behaviors “for practice” or politeness. This can make people feel like their natural state of being isn’t good enough.
6. Stand Up for Them When Needed
   If others make insensitive comments or expect them to behave a certain way, gently step in and advocate for them when it’s welcomed. This act builds trust and support within the relationship and creates a sense of safety.
7. Be Patient With the Process
   Unmasking takes time. They might still mask in certain situations, and that’s okay. Let them know they can show up however they need to on any given day.

Accepting people with autism means embracing their true selves without expecting them to conform to neurotypical norms. By creating safe, understanding spaces and offering genuine support, we can help them feel empowered to unmask and live authentically.

 

Equilibria is a group of licensed mental health professionals in Pennsylvania and New Jersey with multiple specialties to serve all aspects of our diverse community’s mental, emotional, and behavioral needs. We provide in person and telehealth services to individuals of all ages, families, and those in relationships. Click here to schedule an appointment today.