Holiday Self-Care: Creating Boundaries Around Body Talk with Family
By: Sarah Wittman, LPC
Setting boundaries around body comments and diet talk is challenging enough. Add in the stress of the holiday season and family gatherings, and you have a perfect storm of overwhelming and intrusive thoughts. It is important to prioritize your wellbeing and needs during the holidays. Here are 5 strategies you can use this holiday season to manage and implement boundaries with body talk effectively:
1. Communicate Boundaries in Advance
Try and set boundaries with your loved ones ahead of time. Talking with close family members before the holidays can be helpful in setting expectations and adjusting behaviors.
● “It would mean a lot to me if we could avoid conversations about body comments this year at the family holiday party. This topic makes me uncomfortable.”
2. Utilize “I” Statements
Research shows that “I” statements help with being able to communicate how you are affected by comments, which can make them less accusatory and easier for family members to understand.
● “I feel uncomfortable when someone talks to me about other people’s bodies.”
● “I feel self-conscious when someone makes comments about my body.”
3. Be Gentle and Direct
When setting boundaries it’s important to communicate them clearly and assertively. If a family member makes a comment about your body you can say:
● “I’m trying to not engage in conversations around body comments. It’s something I personally am not comfortable with.”
● “Instead of talking about other people’s bodies, let’s focus on something else”
4. Walk Away or Take a Break
Despite your best efforts, some family members may still push your boundaries. If this happens, it’s okay to remove yourself from the conversation and take some space to prioritize your well being.
● “Excuse me, I need to step away from this topic of conversation.”
● “I need to take some space for myself right now, but I would love to talk with you later about a different topic.”
5. Seek Support if Needed
It’s always a good idea to have a safe person at the gathering that you can lean on for support if boundaries continue to be pushed or become harmful. This safe person can help with reinforcing the boundaries and speaking up on your behalf if you feel uncomfortable with doing it alone.
Holidays are a time to connect with your loved ones and celebrate free from the overwhelm that can appear with body talk. They should be a safe and comfortable environment for you to show up as you are. Setting boundaries with family members is difficult and requires a lot of bravery and consistency. Remember, your peace of mind matters so that you can embrace the season to the fullest, and focus on the moments that truly matter.
Equilibria is a group of licensed mental health professionals in Pennsylvania and New Jersey with multiple specialties to serve all aspects of our diverse community’s mental, emotional, and behavioral needs. We provide in person and telehealth services to individuals of all ages, families, and those in relationships. Click here to schedule an appointment today.
